Dating can be a fun and exciting way to make new friends and find that someone special. But at the same time it can be stressful, worrying and quite difficult!
All men and women share some basic concerns. The same dating worries plague disabled people too. But in addition there are some special concerns that revolve around disability itself.
A glance at the message board of any disabled dating site reveals the host of anxieties that cloud the horizon. Dating presents a real challenge for disabled people and queries range from handling the first date to fertility issues.
Some of the common concerns are -
Self consciousness - Feeling that everyone-is-looking-at-me is quite often a constant companion of disabled singles. However, for a relationship to work, both parties have to like the other for themselves. So, while the dating partner has to look beyond the disability, the disabled person too has to stop constantly trying to assess the others reactions!
Companionship - Most singles share this concern and for those living with a limiting disability, it is one of the primary reasons for entering into a dating relationship. Finding the right partner and coping with the future as a single are a constant worry. Hence combating feelings of loneliness and a need for companionship rank high on the list of concerns.
Attitudes towards the disabled - When dating able bodied persons, disabled people are concerned about how their disability will be received. Two people may have been connecting online for a while but when they decide to meet in person, both are worried about the disability angle. They are conscious that believing something in theory and being able to live out those beliefs in reality are different ball games altogether.
And hence the fear of whether the impairment will prove repulsive and how it will affect the relationship surfaces. The dating site Lovebyrd advises -You are not defined by your disability, so do not let your disability represent you on your date.
Sustaining long term relationships - Many of those who are in dating relationships wonder whether they will be able to sustain them in the long run. For the disabled in particular, the worry is how their partner will cope with the day-to-day challenges of living with a disability.
Sexual desirability and performance - While dating, disabled people tend to be very conscious of how desirable they appear to their partner. Feelings of inadequacy and low self-image raise their ugly heads and if these thoughts are not combated successfully they can hamper the relationship and prevent both partners from having a good time.
Sexual performance can be hampered by impairment and problems like impotency and loss of libido are very real. How this will impact the relationship depends on the strength of the bond formed earlier.
Fertility issues - Fertility problems and the possibility of not being able to have children are issues that many disabled people are challenged with. The dating relationship can be affected by this and the reaction of the partner becomes vital to the continuance of the alliance.
The only solution to this is an open discussion. Do not be afraid to voice your concerns - only then will you know what the person at the other end feels. Be confident about yourself and it will all work out!
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Source: Arkilite.com Relationships